3 tips for missionaries

To survive in missionary work you need to have your Bible at hand, take a daily siesta and see the funny side things. And the hardest of the three is seeing the funny side of things.

I have an inability to laugh at my own jokes, the nearest I get to it is the first play-back of a YouTube video made for the granddaughters.

But a visitor in this foreign country just has to walk down the street to be able to smile at what he sees: a girl plus her dog riding a motor-bike, his paws with her hands on the handlebars and she’s wearing stiletto heels; small boys on bicycles hanging on to the back of a lorry; and a scruffy car-windscreen cleaning lady whose got a policeman’s whistle and keeps blowing it to direct the traffic.

Of course a Colombian visiting the UK would find one or two things amusing. One of our students, Oscar, is about to start his practical year with Care Force at a church near Cambridge.

His reactions should be interesting, but of course, that’s England.

Photo: It's the end of Semester!

Mouse-glue and water-cannon

The day never turns out quite how you imagine. For instance, Olwen went out to buy some lipstick and was chased down the main street by a water-cannon. She’d wandered into a mob of stone throwing students who were soon to be scuttled away by riot police. Protesting that she’s Don David’s wife wouldn’t have done her any good.

Then, for a different experience, I noticed that on sale in the supermarket was “Mouse glue”. Just spread it on some cardboard, add a bit of gorgonzola and wait for a mouse to get stuck in the goo. You then deposit the cardboard with live mouse into your kitchen bin.

And it’s the final week of term and a bit chaotic: student groups round for their last coffee, frantic marking of course work and the soon-to-graduate ones walking around with big smiles.

Every day’s different because every day’s in God’s hands: even if you’re a mouse.

Photo: You never know what’s coming next – could be nice

Jesus' puddin's

From the UK it is difficult to appreciate the lack of resources in the Spanish speaking world. For example, there are over 100 books in English on “The Trial of Jesus”. So far in Spanish I’ve located three: one written in 1842, one translated from French and another for those between 0-4 years of age.

It’s the same in the sewing world. If you want how-to instructions on making whatever by hand, there are hundreds of free YouTube guides in English. There’s almost nothing in Spanish, hence our recent efforts (now there’s fabric flowers: http://www.youtube.com/user/0stresscolombia).

This inequality is connected with a variety of factors like wealth, education, Biblical heritage and a philanthropic approach to our neighbour.

It also means sending people from Scotland to Peru and Colombia is well worth the cost. Puddin’s we might be, but if you don’t usually have one, they’re a welcome treat.

Photo: No wedding photographer, so everyone’s the photographer

This week's question

There’s been another local murder: a girl who refused to hand over her motorbike. Our barrio is jittery, some local women are frightened to leave home alone even in daytime. A Colombian colleague prays that the Lord would make Olwen invisible when she goes out.

In an attitude I find difficult to emulate, she refuses to be intimidated and was off at night-time into a dodgy part of the city meeting some Ecuadorians. They’re a group of Quechua speaking Christians who’re starting to get involved in the sewing project.

I keep my head down by concentrating on classes. Not that that’s completely peaceful. This week we had a re-enactment of the Sanhedrin at Jesus’ time, complete with Pharisees and Sadducees denouncing each other. As women couldn’t be part of the Sanhedrin, the female students were the accused. The charge: calling a wee boy an angel, it could be a capital offence, depending on your theology of angels.

It’s a risky life whether in Medellín or ancient Israel or anywhere else, until we’re in heaven. Last week I asked, “Why not come and visit us?”, this week it’s “Why not come and join us?”. Plenty of scope, plenty of needs and it’s always sunny.

Photo: Luis Fernando has just finished a project on Christ's sufferings and Colombia

We’d love you all to visit us. So I hope what I write won’t scare anyone off.

On Saturday afternoon, we went to see a comedy about French cooking. Before the film started, instead of warnings about mobile phones, there was a chilling re-enactment of children being kidnapped by guerrillas from a Colombian village. It was screened to make us remember another reality.

The next day we heard of an entire football team, called the Peanut Men, being taken and murdered. They evidently sold peanuts on the border with Venezuela: not the most likely reasons for assassination.

And last night two of our best loved lecturers, Don and Elizabeth Sendek, were attacked when their taxi drew into the Seminary residency. They lost their laptop, however mercifully not their lives – the city’s murder rate is escalating, the robbers were armed, and Don fought back.

Before all this happened I had compiled a video of our students’ regional night with their different dances. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgcO3ZHHIt8

There’s still a time to dance. Do come and join in.

Life under a curse

There was a neighbour who used to wolf-whistle at me when I went out running in the early morning. Last night he was murdered. The family reckoned he had been cursed as he suffered from a psychiatric disorder which when combined with marihuana or the full moon made him uncontrollable. He was well built, in his mid-20s and had been stealing from another barrio. Two teenagers from there came and killed him: a life is valued at the cost of a few trinkets.

The Seminary’s immediate neighbourhood is one big interconnected family and some of them come to the sewing room. They reckon the only person that’s sorry about his death is his granny. There’s no notion of his importance as a human being in the image of God.

Today in the class we examined the Spanish Conquistadors treatment of the Indians in the name of Christianity. They too were sold for trinkets and killed like soul-less rats.

How powerful are James’ words about genuine Christian faith resulting in doing good. It’s not much, but the sewing room tries to show this to local families, and to others through YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/0stresscolombia

Photo: Local people at a sewing room meal